From my own personal experiences and those that I have picked up from people around me over the years, I have come to the conclusion that a lot of people really suck at debugging (myself included). Here I have outlined some of the easiest ways to never fix anything.
For those that don’t properly understand sarcasm, you can pretty much do the opposite of what I say here.
Always Assume You Know Why It’s Broken
Only new and inexperienced programmers need to actually break into code when something goes wrong, good programmers can tell the problem just from the output. Never investigate an issue, especially when you don’t know what could be causing it, just fix the problem there and then.
Once It’s Fixed, Don’t Waste More Time Testing It, Just Check It In!
Considering the unlikely event of a programmer such as yourself already making a mistake, and the known fact that lightning never strikes twice in the same spot, just check it in and rest in the knowledge that it’s guaranteed to work the second time round!
Intimidate The Problem By Staring At It
Don’t be a wuss! A real programmer never gives up on a problem until it’s solved. Just sit there starting at it until you figure out what’s wrong and don’t dare move or think about anything else, because if you do, you’ve already lost.
It’s Not Me, It’s Someone Else!
As soon as you see that the problem may be even remotely related to a piece of code that someone else has written, drop everything as you’ve obviously found your culprit. After having a moan about them to a fellow colleague, just continue with whatever it was you were doing before hand and don’t let anyone know the status of the issue, after all, it’s not your problem any more.
Just Keep Retrying It, It’ll Work Eventually
If something doesn’t work the first time, just keep retrying the action as it’s probably just a temporary error. If after a 30 tries it still doesn’t go away, put it to the back of your mind and get on with something else while you wait for it to fix itself.
If It Works For Me, It’ll Work For You
Occasionally, some fool will try to run your code and it won’t work but why should that concern you? When it was on your machine it worked fine so it’s obviously something stupid that they have done. Just kindly let them know that they need to figure their own problems out as you have enough on your plate without having to deal with actual users.

